Memories
by Akiamy
Summary: Ichigo remembers the little things about Rukia.
1. Flashes

Flashes

Ichigo is restless and everyone knows it. Sometimes, during rainy nights, he would wander off without his umbrella. When he got home, Yuzu would always scold him for getting wet, but Ichigo just walks back to his room.

Ichigo's clothes are always stashed around his room, but never in his closet. He never cleans his room, so Yuzu has to. He tells her to leave the closet alone. Sometimes, he would go inside his tiny closet and just lay there thinking about her.

Ichigo visits his mother's gravesite every now and then. He would always bring flowers for her. The flowers reminded him of how fragile life really was. A few days later, he comes back and finds nothing but a few withered leaves. He wonders whether the flowers would have lived longer if he had taken better care of them

Ichigo remembers little things about her. How she would be fascinated by the little things like carousels, irises, or post-it notes. He had never taken these things seriously, but as he grabs his wallet to pay for some post-it notes, he wonders if he should have.

Ichigo thinks about that one day when she presented him with some daisies which she had grown by herself. Ichigo tries to tell her that you can't give flowers to a boy, and how he was going to toss them anyway. She just smiles and walks away. For some reason Ichigo has kept them between two pages of a book dried but preserved.

Ichigo walks to school every day by himself. He sees others walk in pairs but he doesn't join them. He is used to this because he has been alone for his whole life, his whole life not counting those two short months when she was here with him.

Ichigo remembers when he was showing her how to use a computer. She didn't understand what the little "green button" on the "metal box" was for. She was so frustrated that she pushed the "metal box" off of the desk and on to the floor. He starts yelling at her. This makes her laugh. She wonders why he would care so much about a "metal box". Seeing her laugh only makes Ichigo angrier. Now, he wishes that he could hear her laugh once more.

She was gone and he knew it. But that wouldn't stop him from remembering the past. Every time he closes his eyes he swears that he can remember every single detail of her. He knows he is lying to himself just as he knows that those memories are growing fainter every day. Someday, they will disappear altogether. But until then, he will hold on to them for memories sake.


	2. Patches

Patches

It has been three years since she had left him. Ichigo has moved out of their family clinic and into his own little apartment. His room is bare, with no posters or books. The walls are whitewashed. There is no closet.

Ichigo finds it so funny that for the past three years, he had tried so hard to remember her. Do hard to cling to the memories he already knew were slipping through his fingers.

Now, he doesn't like the fact that everywhere, there are still traces of her. He doesn't fight hollows anymore. Hollows remind him of the first time that they had met, not knowing they would change their lives forever.

Everyday his routine is the same. He wishes for some change, some sign of her, but he knows he shouldn't. Everyday, he finds himself forgetting little bits and pieces of their time together.

He closes the window when he sleeps. He knows for a fact that she won't be coming into his room anymore. They had an unspoken promise, a silent vow. She doesn't come back, so why should he have to suffer for it. So every night, Ichigo closes his window and his heart.

He hates himself. He always pushes her away, but for some reason, he also yearns for her. Ichigo knows that he is weak, weak for missing her when she probably doesn't even think about him anymore. He hates her even more.

Every day, those memories fade. He wishes they would all go away, but he knows that they won't. They would always remain in his mind, in little patches, popping up when he least expects it. He knows that he will never really have a clean slate because she will always come back.

One day, as Ichigo was getting ready to go to bed, he hears a knock on his door. He opens it and he sees Rukia. He isn't surprised because she promised. She doesn't ask him too many questions.

All she asks is why he closed the window.


End file.
